i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
