I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
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