I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
