there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
