i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
