I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
