I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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