omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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