i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
