Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
only you would photoshop your dick
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
