This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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