It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
