Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
