life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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