If i come over, it means nothing
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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