Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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