i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
