Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Randomize
