So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
