if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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