last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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