dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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