Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
That's intense
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Randomize
