So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
why is half of my head shaved?
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