I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize