I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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