U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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