I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
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Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
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I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
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