What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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