and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize