Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
