how can u be prego again
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
