How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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