so that wasnt chicken after all
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Randomize
