shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
