You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i came on her dog
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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