i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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