Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
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