nut hugger
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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