At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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