By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
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