I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
