I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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