So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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