I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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