My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
