Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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