I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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