so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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