K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
meet me or not, i'm out of control
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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