omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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