I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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