My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
