Don't make out with my wife yet
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
