white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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