Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
