the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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