Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
