i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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