o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
