hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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