I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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