Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We were destined to go to rehab together
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
