He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I think I won the penis lottery.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
