Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize