she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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