I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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