:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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