is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
