I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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